LETTER 10. TO EMMA WEDGWOOD.
Sunday Night. Athenaeum. [January 20th, 1839.]

...I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed my Maer visit,--I felt in
anticipation my future tranquil life: how I do hope you may be as happy as
I know I shall be: but it frightens me, as often as I think of what a
family you have been one of. I was thinking this morning how it came, that
I, who am fond of talking and am scarcely ever out of spirits, should so
entirely rest my notions of happiness on quietness, and a good deal of
solitude: but I believe the explanation is very simple and I mention it
because it will give you hopes, that I shall gradually grow less of a
brute, it is that during the five years of my voyage (and indeed I may add
these two last) which from the active manner in which they have been
passed, may be said to be the commencement of my real life, the whole of my
pleasure was derived from what passed in my mind, while admiring views by
myself, travelling across the wild deserts or glorious forests or pacing
the deck of the poor little "Beagle" at night. Excuse this much egotism,--
I give it you because I think you will humanize me, and soon teach me there
is greater happiness than building theories and accumulating facts in
silence and solitude. My own dearest Emma, I earnestly pray, you may never
regret the great, and I will add very good, deed, you are to perform on the
Tuesday: my own dear future wife, God bless you...The Lyells called on me
to-day after church; as Lyell was so full of geology he was obliged to
disgorge,--and I dine there on Tuesday for an especial confidence. I was
quite ashamed of myself to-day, for we talked for half an hour,
unsophisticated geology, with poor Mrs. Lyell sitting by, a monument of
patience. I want practice in ill-treatment the female sex,--I did not
observe Lyell had any compunction; I hope to harden my conscience in time: