surely have time to attend to her husband's guests and preside over
the preparations of his kitchen, as she does worthily at his hospitable
mahogany." To this I answer, that a man who expects a woman to
understand the philosophy of dinner-giving, shows the strongest evidence
of a low mind. He is unjust towards that lovely and delicate creature,
woman, to suppose that she heartily understands and cares for what she
eats and drinks. No: taken as a rule, women have no real appetites.
They are children in the gormandizing way; loving sugar, sops, tarts,
trifles, apricot-creams, and such gewgaws. They would take a sip of
Malmsey, and would drink currant-wine just as happily, if that accursed
liquor were presented to them by the butler. Did you ever know a
woman who could lay her fair hand upon her gentle heart and say on her
conscience that she preferred dry sillery to sparkling champagne? Such
a phenomenon does not exist. They are not made for eating and drinking;
or, if they make a pretence to it, become downright odious. Nor can
they, I am sure, witness the preparations of a really great repast
without a certain jealousy. They grudge spending money (ask guards,
coachmen, inn-waiters, whether this be not the case). They will give
their all, heaven bless them to serve a son, a grandson, or a
dear relative, but they have not the heart to pay for small things
magnificently. They are jealous of good dinners, and no wonder. I have
shown in a former discourse how they are jealous of smoking, and other
personal enjoyments of the male. I say, then, that Lady Pogson or Mrs.
Snorter can never conduct their husbands' table properly. Fancy either
of them consenting to allow a calf to be stewed down into gravy for one
dish, or a dozen hares to be sacrificed to a single puree of game, or
the best Madeira to be used for a sauce, or half a dozen of champagne to
boil a ham in. They will be for bringing a bottle of Marsala in place of
the old particular, or for having the ham cooked in water. But of
these matters--of kitchen philosophy--I have no practical or theoretic