What sayest thou now, Epicurus? Wilt thou get thee up betimes in
the morning, and go to the theatre to hear the harpers and flutists
play? But if a Theophrastus discourse at the table of Concords, or
an Aristoxenus of Varieties, or if an Aristophanes play the critic
upon Homer, wilt thou presently, for very dislike and abhorrence,
clap both thy hands upon thy ears? And do they not hereby make the
Scythian king Ateas more musical than this comes to, who, when he
heard that admirable flutist Ismenias, detained then by him as a
prisoner of war, playing upon the flute at a compotation, swore he
had rather hear his own horse neigh? And do they not also profess
themselves to stand at an implacable and irreconcilable defiance
with whatever is generous and becoming? And indeed what do they
ever embrace or affect that is either genteel or regardable, when
it hath nothing of pleasure to accompany it? And would it not far
less affect a pleasurable way of living, to abhor perfumes and
odors, like beetles and vultures, than to shun and abhor the
conversation of learned, critics and musicians? For what flute or
harp ready tuned for a lesson, or

What sweetest concerts e'er with artful noise,
Warbled by softest tongue and best tuned voice,

ever gave Epicurus and Metrodorus such content as the disputes and
precepts about concerts gave Aristotle, Theophrastus, Hieronymus,
and Dicaerchus? And also the problems about flutes, rhythms, and
harmonies; as, for instance, why the longer of two flutes of the
same longitude should speak flatter?--why, if you raise the pipe,
will all its notes be sharp; and flat again, if you depress it?--
and why, when clapped to another, will it sound flatter; and
sharper again, when taken from it?--why also, if you scatter chaff