the siventh vile; of Chrisehinising the Patagonians on condition they are
not to come here and Chrischinise the Whitechapelians; of the letter to
the _Times_ from the tinker wrecked at Timbuctoo; and the dear
Professor's lecture on the probabeelity of snail-shells in the backyard
of the moon: but don't ask us to know ourselves--Ijjits!!"

The eloquent speaker, depressed by the perversity of Englishmen in giving
their minds to every part of creation but their bodies, suffered a
momentary loss of energy; then Mrs. Dodd, who had long been watching
lynx-like, glided in. "Let us compound. You are for curing all the world,
beginning with Nobody. My ambition is to cure _my girl,_ and leave
mankind in peace. Now, if you will begin with _my Julia,_ I will submit
to rectify the universe in its proper turn. Any time will do to set the
human race right; you own it is in no hurry: but _my child's_ case
presses; so do pray cure her for me. Or at least tell me what her
Indisposition is."

"Oh! What! didn't I tell you? Well, there's nothing the matter with her."


At receiving this cavalier reply for the reward of all her patience, Mrs.
Dodd was so hurt, and so nearly angry, that she rose with dignity from
her seat, her cheek actually pink, and the water in her eyes. Sampson saw
she was ruffled, and appealed to Julia--of all people. "There now, Miss
Julia," said he, ruefully; "she is in a rage because I won't humbug her.
Poplus voolt decipee. I tell you, ma'am, it is not a midical case. Give
me disease and I'll cure 't. Stop, I'll tell ye what do: let her take and
swallow the Barkton Docks' prescriptions, and Butcher Best's, and canting
Kinyon's, and after those four tinkers there'll be plenty holes to mend;
then send for me!"