"All day long I wandered beside the little river, giving way to painful
reflections. But what was the use of reflection? I could be sure of
nothing. For hours and hours I weighed all the pros and cons in favor of
or against the probability of my being the father, growing nervous over
inexplicable suppositions, only to return incessantly to the same
horrible uncertainty, then to the still more atrocious conviction that
this man was my son.

"I could eat no dinner, and went to my room.

"I lay awake for a long time, and when I finally fell asleep I was
haunted by horrible visions. I saw this laborer laughing in my face and
calling me 'papa.' Then he changed into a dog and bit the calves of my
legs, and no matter how fast I ran he still followed me, and instead of
barking, talked and reviled me. Then he appeared before my colleagues at
the Academy, who had assembled to decide whether I was really his father;
and one of them cried out: 'There can be no doubt about it! See how he
resembles him.' And, indeed, I could see that this monster looked like
me. And I awoke with this idea fixed in my mind and with an insane desire
to see the man again and assure myself whether or not we had similar
features.

"I joined him as he was going to mass (it was Sunday) and I gave him five
francs as I gazed at him anxiously. He began to laugh in an idiotic
manner, took the money, and then, embarrassed afresh at my gaze, he ran
off, after stammering an almost inarticulate word that, no doubt, meant
'thank you.'

"My day passed in the same distress of mind as on the previous night. I
sent for the landlord, and, with the greatest caution, skill and tact, I