way. I have had congratulatory messages from 800 aunts, 950 uncles,
and about 3800 needy cousins since my arrival. It is queer how big a
family a lonely man finds he has when his star begins to twinkle.
Even Joseph is glad see me now, and I am told that the ice-cream men
serve little vanilla Napoleons at all the swell dinners. Bourrienne,
our time has come! Get out my most threadbare uniform, fray a few of
my collars at the edges, and shoot a few holes in my hat. I'll go
out and take a walk along the Avenue de l'Opera, where the people can
see me."

"There isn't any such street in Paris yet, General," said Bourrienne,
getting out his Paris guide-book.

"Well, there ought to be," said Napoleon.

"What streets are there? I must be seen or I'll be forgotten."

"What's the matter with a lounge in front of the Luxembourg? That
will make a contrast that can't help affect the populace. You, the
conqueror, ill-clad, unshaven, and with a hat full of bullet-holes,
walking outside the palace, with the incompetent Directors lodged
comfortably inside, will make a scene that is bound to give the
people food for thought."

"Well said!" cried Bonaparte. "Here are the pistols go out into the
woods and prepare the hat. I'll fray the collars."

This was done, and the effect was instantaneous. The public
perceived the point, and sympathy ran so high that a public dinner
was offered to the returned warrior.