"P.S.--I enclose a stamped and directed envelope for a reply, and if
I don't get it inside of two weeks I'll come over and smoke you out."


To this peace-seeking communication England, through her ministers,
replied to the effect that she wanted peace as much as France did,
but that she could not enter into it without the consent of Russia.

"That settles it," said Napoleon. "It's to be war. I'm willing to
divide creation with England, but two's company and three's a crowd,
and the Russian Bear must keep his paws off. I will go to Italy,
Bourrienne, collect a few more thrones, and then we'll get to work on
a new map of Europe. Russia never did look well or graceful on the
existing maps. It makes the continent look lop-sided, and Germany
and Austria need trimming down a bit. I propose to shove Russia over
into Asia, annex Germany and Austria to France, drop Turkey into the
Bosporus, and tow England farther north and hitch her on to the north
pole. Wire the Italians to get out their iron crown and dust it off.
I'll take a run down to Milan, in May, and give my coronation
performance there. Such a good show as that of December 2nd ought to
be taken on the road."

The latter part of this plan was fulfilled to the letter, and on the
20th of May, 1805, Bonaparte and Josephine were crowned King and
Queen of Italy at Milan.

"Now, my dear," said Bonaparte, after the ceremony, "hereafter we
must drop the first person singular I and assume the dignity of the
editorial WE. Emperors and editors alike are entitled to the
distinction. It's a sign of plurality which is often quite as