wondered that grace should be so rich, as to take hold of such a
wretch as I was; and for my sake believed in Christ the more.

There are two things that great sinners are acquainted with, when
they come to divulge them to the saints, that are a great relief to
their faith.

1. The contests that they usually have with the devil at their
parting with him.

2. Their knowledge of his secrets in his workings.

For the first, The biggest sinners have usually great contests with
the devil at their partings; and this is an help to saints: for
ordinary saints find afterwards what the vile ones find at first, but
when at the opening of hearts, the one finds himself to be as the
other, the one is a comfort to the other. The lesser sort of sinners
find but little of this, till after they have been some time in
profession; but the vile man meets with his at the beginning.
Wherefore he, when the other is down, is ready to tell that he has
met with the same before; for, I say, he has had it before. Satan is
loath to part with a great sinner. What my true servant (quoth he),
my old servant, wilt thou forsake me now? having so often sold
thyself to me to work wickedness, wilt thou forsake me now? Thou
horrible wretch, dost not know, that thou hast sinned thyself beyond
the reach of grace, and dost think to find mercy now? Art not thou a
murderer, a thief, a harlot, a witch, a sinner of the greatest size,
and dost thou look for mercy now? Dost thou think that Christ will
foul his fingers with thee?