The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 2: War by Artemus Ward
page 21 of 71 (29%)
page 21 of 71 (29%)
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company do you speck you can manage to kill durin the war?
Hav you ever heard of Ginral Price of Missouri, and can you avoid simler accidents in case of a battle? Have you ever had the measles, and if so, how many? How air you now? Show me your tongue, &c., &c. Sum of the questions was sarcusstical. The company filled up rapid, and last Sunday we went to the meetin house in full uniform. I had a seris time gittin into my military harness, as it was bilt for me many years ago; but I finally got inside of it, tho' it fitted me putty clost. Howsever, onct into it, I lookt fine--in fact, aw-inspirin. "Do you know me, Mrs. Ward?" sed I, walking into the kitchin. "Know you, you old fool? Of course I do." I saw at once she did. I started for the meetin house, and I'm afraid I tried to walk too strate, for I cum very near fallin over backards; and in attemptin to recover myself, my sword got mixed up with my legs, and I fell in among a choice collection of young ladies, who was standin near the church door a-seein the sojer boys come up. My cockt hat fell off, and sumhow my coat tales got twisted round my neck. The young ladies put their |
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