better to be drunk than sober; but it is happier. Goodness is not
happiness. That is an epigram. But I have overdone this. I am too
sober to be good company. Let me redress the balance. [He takes a
generous draught of brandy, and recovers his geniality.] Aha!
That's better. And now listen, darling. You must not come to
Court with pistols in your boots.

EDSTASTON. I have found them useful.

PATIOMKIN. Nonsense. I'm your friend. You mistook my intention
because I was drunk. Now that I am sober--in moderation--I will
prove that I am your friend. Have some diamonds. [Roaring.] Hullo
there! Dogs, pigs: hullo!

The Sergeant comes in.

THE SERGEANT. God be praised, Little Father: you are still spared
to us.

PATIOMKIN. Tell them to bring some diamonds. Plenty of diamonds.
And rubies. Get out. [He aims a kick at the Sergeant, who flees.]
Put up your pistols, darling. I'll give you a pair with gold
handgrips. I am your friend.

EDSTASTON [replacing the pistols in his boots rather
unwillingly]. Your Highness understands that if I am missing, or
if anything happens to me, there will be trouble.

PATIOMKIN [enthusiastically]. Call me darling.