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Every Man out of His Humour by Ben Jonson
page 31 of 288 (10%)
than Circe, with absurd similes, will transform any person into deformity.
A good feast-hound or banquet-beagle, that will scent you out a supper some
three miles off, and swear to his patrons, damn him! he came in oars, when
he was but wafted over in a sculler. A slave that hath an extraordinary
gift in pleasing his palate, and will swill up more sack at a sitting than
would make all the guard a posset. His religion is railing, and his
discourse ribaldry.

FASTIDIOUS BRISK, a neat, spruce, affecting courtier, one that wears
clothes well, and in fashion; practiseth by his glass how to salute; speaks
good remnants, notwithstanding the base viol and tobacco; swears tersely
and with variety; cares not what lady's favour he belies, or great man's
familiarity: a good property to perfume the boot of a coach. He will
borrow another man's horse to praise, and backs him as his own. Or, for a
need, on foot can post himself into credit with his merchant, only with the
gingle of his spur, and the jerk of his wand.

DELIRO, a good doting citizen, who, it is thought, might be of the
common-council for his wealth; a fellow sincerely besotted on his own wife,
and so wrapt with a conceit of her perfections, that he simply holds
himself unworthy of her. And, in that hood-wink'd humour, lives more like
a suitor than a husband; standing in as true dread of her displeasure, as
when he first made love to her. He doth sacrifice two-pence in juniper to
her every morning before she rises, and wakes her with
villainous-out-of-tune music, which she out of her contempt (though not out
of her judgment) is sure to dislike.

FALLACE, Deliro's wife, and idol; a proud mincing peat, and as perverse as
he is officious. She dotes as perfectly upon the courtier, as her husband
doth on her, and only wants the face to be dishonest.
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