"The President is very particular," said the Man who brought him
the news; "he thinks the same loss of life might be effected with
less damage to the company's property."

"Does he expect me to shoot passengers through the car windows?"
exclaimed the indignant official, spiking a loose tie across the
rails. "Does he take me for an assassin?"



How Leisure Came



A MAN to Whom Time Was Money, and who was bolting his breakfast in
order to catch a train, had leaned his newspaper against the sugar-
bowl and was reading as he ate. In his haste and abstraction he
stuck a pickle-fork into his right eye, and on removing the fork
the eye came with it. In buying spectacles the needless outlay for
the right lens soon reduced him to poverty, and the Man to Whom
Time Was Money had to sustain life by fishing from the end of a
wharf.



The Moral Sentiment



A PUGILIST met the Moral Sentiment of the Community, who was