how much better he had deserved her, and filled me with shame at
having ever less esteemed him. And through all, there was the same
dear Dick May, that never, since the day we first met at the pump in
the school court, had I been able to help loving with all my heart--
the only being that was glad to see me again. When he begged me to
stay and watch over your sister, what could I do but remain while she
lived?'

'So he bound you down! Oh, you know how we thank you! no, you can't,
nor what you have been to him, and to all of us, through the worst of
our sad days. And though it was a sacrifice, I do not think it was
bad for you.'

'No, Ethel. When you implored me to give up my Crimean notion, to
spare your father pain, I did feel for once that you at least thought
me of value to some one.'

'I cannot bear you to speak so,' cried Ethel. 'You to talk of having
been of no use!'

'No honest man of principle and education can be utterly useless; but
when, three days ago, I recollected that it was my sixtieth birthday,
I looked back, and saw nothing but desultory broken efforts, and
restless changes. Your father told me, when I thought him unaware of
the meaning of his words, that if I had missed many joys, I had
missed many sorrows; but I had taken the way to make my one sorrow a
greater burden than his many.'

'But you do not grieve for my mother still?' said Ethel, anxiously.
'Even his grief is a grave joy to him now; and one is always told