intoxication. He will be known, without soft concealments, as the
Perpetual Souse. In his little bar, served by austere attendants,
he will be kept in a state of gentle exhilaration. Nothing gross,
nothing unseemly, I insist! In that state of sweetly glowing mind
and heart, in that ineffable blossoming of all the nobler
qualities of human dignity, this priest of alcohol will represent
and perpetuate the virtues of the grape. Booze, in the general
sense, will have gone West, but ah how fair and ruddy a sunset
will it have in the person of this its vicar! There he will live,
visited, studied, revered, a living memorial. There he will live,
perpetually in a mellow fume of bliss, trailing clouds of glory,
as if--as some poet says,

As if his whole vocation
Were endless intoxication.

And now, my friends--not to weary you with the minor details of
this far-reaching proposal--let me come to the point. For so
gravely responsible a post, for an office so representative of the
ideals and ambitions of millions, the choice cannot be cast
haphazard. The choice must fall upon one qualified, confirmed,
consecrated to this end. This deeply significant office must be
conferred by the people themselves. It must be conferred by
popular election. Candidates must be nominated, must stump the
country explaining their qualifications. And let me say that, upon
looking over the whole field, I see one man, who by the jury of
his peers--or shall I say by the jury of his beers?--is supremely
fitted for this post. It is my intention to nominate Mr. Dunraven
Bleak for the office of Perpetual Souse."