with the doctrine of complete immersion. Ever since I was first
admitted to the bar I have deplored the conduct of those violent
and vulgar revelers who have brought discredit upon the loveliest,
most delicate art known to man. Now, at last, by supreme wisdom,
drinking is to be elevated to the dignity of a career. I like to
think that I express your sentiment when I say that drinking is
too precious, too subtle, too fragile a function to be entrusted
to the common crowd. Therefore I heartily applaud your admirable
intention of entrusting it entirely to me, and look forward with
profound satisfaction to the privilege of enshrining and
perpetuating in my own person the genial traditions that have
clustered round the institution of Liquor. If elected, I shall
endeavor to carry on the fine old rituals and pass them down
unimpaired to the next incumbent. I shall endeavor to make duty a
pleasure, and pleasure a duty. I shall remind myself that I am
only performing the service to humanity that each one of you would
willingly render if you were in my place.

"My fellow-citizens, I thank you for your amiable confidence, and
am happy to accept the nomination."

There were some who criticized this speech on the ground that it
was too academic. It was remembered that Mr. Bleak had at one time
been a school-teacher, and his opponents were quick to raise the
cry "What can a schoolmaster know about liquor?" It was said that
Mr. Bleak was too scholarly, too aloof, too cold-blooded: that his
interest in booze was merely philosophical, that he would be
incompetent to deal with the practical problems of actual
drinking: that he would surround himself with drinks that would be
mere puppets, subservient entirely to his own purposes. The