play and finds it uncut; or the pounding of the same gentleman in the
middle of the first chorus; or his offensive extrication therefrom
through the medium of some Cumberland barbarian; or the officiousness
of the same barbarian to pursue the lecture when every one else has,
with singular unanimity, "read no further;" - all these circumstances,
although perhaps dull enough in themselves, are nevertheless
productive of some mirth in a lecture-room.

But if there were often late-comers to the lectures, there were
occasionally early-goers from them. Had Mr. Four-in-hand Fosbrooke
an engagement to ride his horse ~Tearaway~ in the amateur
steeple-chase, and was he constrained, by circumstances over which
(as he protested) he had no control, to put


[84 ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN]

in a regular appearance at Mr. Slowcoach's lectures, what was it
necessary for him to do more than to come to lecture in a long
greatcoat, put his handkerchief to his face as though his nose were
bleeding, look appealingly at Mr. Slowcoach, and, as he made his
exit, pull aside the long greatcoat, and display to his admiring
colleagues the snowy cords and tops that would soon be pressing
against ~Tearaway's~ sides, that gallant animal being then in
waiting, with its trusty groom, in the alley at the back of
Brazenface? And if little Mr. Bouncer, for astute
reasons of his own, wished Mr. Slowcoach to believe that he (Mr. B.)
was particularly struck with his (Mr. S.'s) remarks on the force of
{kata} in composition, what was to prevent Mr. Bouncer from feigning
to make a note of these remarks by the aid of a cigar instead of an