no relation living that I knew of, and I never kept a friend above a
week, when I was able to joke; I seldom remained above six months in
a parish, so that I might have died before I had found a settlement
in any: thus I was forced to beg my bread, and a sorry trade I
found it, Mr. Harley. I told all my misfortunes truly, but they
were seldom believed; and the few who gave me a halfpenny as they
passed did it with a shake of the head, and an injunction not to
trouble them with a long story. In short, I found that people don't
care to give alms without some security for their money; a wooden
leg or a withered arm is a sort of draught upon heaven for those who
choose to have their money placed to account there; so I changed my
plan, and, instead of telling my own misfortunes, began to prophesy
happiness to others. This I found by much the better way: folks
will always listen when the tale is their own, and of many who say
they do not believe in fortune-telling, I have known few on whom it
had not a very sensible effect. I pick up the names of their
acquaintance; amours and little squabbles are easily gleaned among
servants and neighbours; and indeed people themselves are the best
intelligencers in the world for our purpose: they dare not puzzle
us for their own sakes, for every one is anxious to hear what they
wish to believe, and they who repeat it, to laugh at it when they
have done, are generally more serious than their hearers are apt to
imagine. With a tolerable good memory, and some share of cunning,
with the help of walking a-nights over heaths and church-yards, with
this, and showing the tricks of that there dog, whom I stole from
the serjeant of a marching regiment (and by the way, he can steal
too upon occasion), I make shift to pick up a livelihood. My trade,
indeed, is none of the honestest; yet people are not much cheated
neither who give a few half-pence for a prospect of happiness, which
I have heard some persons say is all a man can arrive at in this