--Just for the feel of human flesh?
--For a human that feel is indispensable. They are gadabouts and they
expend themselves in motion as a defense mechanism by which to avoid
their own thoughts. It is the same for feeling the silk of other skin.
It breaks them from isolation. They find their thoughts such a prison.


He and Porn had an American style apartment. She was content with
it for a few days and then became discontent with the furniture. The
chairs and the sofas, despite their padding, were still wicker and
stiff. He knew that having the landlord take away the furnishings and
using his credit cards fully for the purchase of her wishes would not
ameliorate the discontent that all beings had and few could rein in.
He had met her and her mommy on the bleachers of the stadium on
Ramkhamhaeng Road while sketching out a field and trees and yet still
Nawin felt that she did not know who he was. He went to classes in the
morning and from late afternoon he was busy painting. He couldn't
understand how she thought that he should just conjure up images
instantaneously with his brush, spend money, and take her places.
He kept avoiding the issue of taking her across the border. She
had a student visa since she was technically enrolled in a language
school (although she rarely attended) so it wasn't in fear of her visa
status that made him want to avoid the issue of the border. He had
his American passport and yet he still had never spent a day there. He
told himself that he should. And yet it continued to seem to him like
such a dreadful place.
He told himself that it had been a mistake to bring her here. He
hadn't known how far the campus was from the city. In part he chose
the location with Noppawan and Porn in mind. Still, it was a mistake
and he knew it all along. In Thailand she had seemed so excitable.