"I AM AN ORPHAN. SO ARE THE OTHERS, BUT THEY ARE NOT SO ORPHAN AS I
AM. I AM EXTREMELY FREQUENT."

Dahlia said--

"WE ARE DOING THIS FOR AN ADVERTISEMENT. IF YOU LIKE US, SEND A
SHILLING FOR A FREE SAMPLE CONCERT, MENTIONING THIS PAPER. YOUR
MONEY BACK IF WE ARE NOT SATISFIED WITH IT."

Simpson announced--

"WORLD'S LONG DISTANCE CORNETIST. HOLDER OF THE OBOE RECORD ON
GRASS. RUNNER-UP IN THE OCARINA WELTER WEIGHTS (STRANGLE HOLD
BARRED). MIXED ZITHER CHAMPION (1907, COVERED COURTS)."

Myra said--

"KIND FRIENDS, HELP US. WE WERE WRECKED THIS AFTERNOON. THE CORNET
WAS SINKING FOR THE THIRD TIME WHEN IT WAS RESCUED, AND HAD TO BE
BROUGHT ROUND BY ARTIFICIAL RESPIRATION. CAN YOU SPARE US A DRINK OF
WATER?"

As for myself I had to hand the Simpson yachting cap round, and my
notice said--

"WE WANT YOUR MONEY. IF YOU CANNOT GIVE US ANY, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE
KEEP THE CAP."

We had an early dinner, so as to be in time to serenade our victims
when they were finishing their own meal and feeling friendly to the