Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures by Douglas William Jerrold
page 10 of 184 (05%)
page 10 of 184 (05%)
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to send for the blacksmith to-day, but now it's out of the question:
NOW it must bang of nights, since you've thrown away five pounds. "Ha! there's the soot falling down the chimney. If I hate the smell of anything, it's the smell of soot. And you know it; but what are my feelings to you? SWEEP THE CHIMNEY! Yes, it's all very fine to say sweep the chimney--but how are chimneys to be swept--how are they to be paid for by people who don't take care of their five pounds? "Do you hear the mice running about the room? I hear them. If they were to drag only you out of bed, it would be no matter. SET A TRAP FOR THEM! Yes, it's easy enough to say--set a trap for 'em. But how are people to afford mouse-traps, when every day they lose five pounds? "Hark! I'm sure there's a noise downstairs. It wouldn't at all surprise me if there were thieves in the house. Well, it MAY be the cat; but thieves are pretty sure to come in some night. There's a wretched fastening to the back-door; but these are not times to afford bolts and bars, when people won't take care of their five pounds. "Mary Anne ought to have gone to the dentist's to-morrow. She wants three teeth taken out. Now, it can't be done. Three teeth that quite disfigure the child's mouth. But there they must stop, and spoil the sweetest face that was ever made. Otherwise, she'd have been a wife for a lord. Now, when she grows up, who'll have her? Nobody. We shall die, and leave her alone and unprotected in the world. But what do you care for that? Nothing; so you can squander away five pounds." |
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