This was all very manly, so I fancied at the time; and then
blind with the perverse heart which boiled within me, I felt not
the wantonness of my mood, and heeded not the bitter pain which I
occasioned to her gentle bosom. Her little hand grasped mine, her
warm tears fell upon it; but I flung away from her grasp, and left
her to those childish meditations which I had made sufficiently
mournful.

Subsequent reflection, while it showed me the brutality of my
conduct to Julia, opened my eyes to the true meaning of her mother's
interdiction; and increased the pang of those bitter feelings,
which my conscious dependence had awakened in my breast, it was
necessary that this dependence should be lessened; that, as I was
now approaching manhood, I should cast about for the future, and
adopt wisely and at once the means of my support hereafter. It was
necessary that I should begin the business of life. On this head
I had already reflected somewhat, and my thoughts had taken their
direction from more than one conference which I had had with William
Edgerton. His father was an eminent lawyer, and the law had been
adopted for his profession also. I determined to make it mine;
and to speak on this subject to my uncle. This I did. I chose an
afternoon, the very week in which my conversation had taken place
with Julia, and, while the dinner things were undergoing removal,
with some formality requested a private interview with him. He looked
round at me with a raised brow of inquiry--nodded his head--and
shortly after rose from the table. My aunt stared with an air of
supercilious wonder; while poor Julia, timid and trembling, barely
ventured to give me a single look, which said--and that was enough
for me--"I wish I dared say more."