revived my suit; he kissed me, and talked of other things. At supper I
would eat nothing; he as usual sat by me, and drank often to me, which
was his custom, and was full of discourse to company that was at
table. Going to bed I asked again, and said I could not believe he
loved me if he refused to tell me all he knew; but he answered
nothing, but stopped my mouth with kisses. So we went to bed, I cried,
and he went to sleep. Next morning early, as his custom was, he called
to rise, but began to discourse with me first, to which I made no
reply; he rose, came on the other side of the bed and kissed me, and
drew the curtains softly and went to Court. When he came home to
dinner, he presently came to me as was usual, and when I had him by
the hand, I said, 'Thou dost not care to see me troubled'; to which he
taking me in his arms, answered, 'My dearest soul, nothing upon earth
can afflict me like that, and when you asked me of my business, it was
wholly out of my power to satisfy thee, for my life and fortune shall
be thine, and every thought of my heart in which the trust I am in may
not be revealed, but my honour is my own, which I cannot preserve if I
communicate the Prince's affairs; and pray thee with this answer rest
satisfied.' So great was his reason and goodness, that upon
consideration it made my folly appear to me so vile, that from that
day until the day of his death I never thought fit to ask him any
business but what he communicated freely to me in order to his estate
or family. My husband grew much in the Prince's favour; and Mr. Long
not being suffered to execute the business of his place, as the
Council suspected that he held private intelligence with the Earl of
Essex, which when he perceived he went into the enemy's quarters, and
so to London, and then into France, full of complaints of the Prince's
Council to the Queen-Mother, and when he was gone your father supplied
his place.