IN THE MATTER OF A PRIVATE

Hurrah! hurrah! a soldier's life for me!
Shout, boys, shout! for it makes you jolly and free.
_The Ramrod Corps._

People who have seen, say that one of the quaintest spectacles of human
frailty is an outbreak of hysterics in a girls' school. It starts
without warning, generally on a hot afternoon, among the elder pupils.
A girl giggles till the giggle gets beyond control. Then she throws
up her head, and cries, '_Honk, honk, honk,_' like a wild goose, and
tears mix with the laughter. If the mistress be wise, she will rap out
something severe at this point to check matters. If she be
tender-hearted, and send for a drink of water, the chances are largely
in favour of another girl laughing at the afflicted one and herself
collapsing. Thus the trouble spreads, and may end in half of what
answers to the Lower Sixth of a boys' school rocking and whooping
together. Given a week of warm weather, two stately promenades per
diem, a heavy mutton and rice meal in the middle of the day, a certain
amount of nagging from the teachers, and a few other things, some
amazing effects develop. At least, this is what folk say who have had
experience.

Now, the Mother Superior of a Convent and the Colonel of a British
Infantry Regiment would be justly shocked at any comparison being made
between their respective charges. But it is a fact that, under certain
circumstances, Thomas in bulk can be worked up into ditthering, rippling