you know, if I would not earn his wages, why should I have them?

Don't trouble yourself about the four guineas, nor borrow to make them
up; for they were given me, with some silver, as I told you, as a
perquisite, being what my lady had about her when she died; and, as I
hope for no wages, I am so vain as to think I have deserved all that
money in the fourteen months, since my lady's death, for she, good soul,
overpaid me before, in learning and other kindnesses. Had she lived,
none of these things might have happened!--But I ought to be thankful
'tis no worse. Every thing will turn about for the best: that's my
confidence.

So, as I was saying, I have provided a new and more suitable dress, and I
long to appear in it, more than ever I did in any new clothes in my life:
for then I shall be soon after with you, and at ease in my mind--But,
mum! Here he comes, I believe.--I am, etc.



LETTER XXI


MY DEAR FATHER AND MOTHER,

I was forced to break off: for I feared my master was coming: but it
proved to be only Mrs. Jervis. She said, I can't endure you should be so
much by yourself, Pamela. And I, said I, dread nothing so much as
company; for my heart was up at my mouth now, for fear my master was
coming. But I always rejoice to see dear Mrs. Jervis.