Then, with an attempt at rough humour, I added, "But as I told you
once, the knot is'nt at my throat, and I'll tie another one yet
elsewhere, if God loves honest men."

I had no hope at all, yet I felt I must say it. He nodded, but
said nothing, and presently I was alone.

I sat down on my straw couch and composed myself to think; not
upon my end, for my mind was made up as to that, but upon the girl
who was so dear to me, whose life had crept into mine and filled
it, making it of value in the world. It must not be thought that I
no longer had care for our cause, for I would willingly have spent
my life a hundred times for my country, as my best friends will
bear witness; but there comes a time when a man has a right to set
all else aside but his own personal love and welfare, and to me the
world was now bounded by just so much space as my dear Alixe might
move in. I fastened my thought upon her face as I had last seen it.
My eyes seemed to search for it also, and to find it in the torch
which stuck out, softly sputtering, from the wall. I do not
pretend, even at this distance of time, after having thought much
over the thing, to give any good reason for so sudden a change as
took place in me there. All at once a voice appeared to say to me,
"When you are gone, she will be Doltaire's. Remember what she said.
She fears him. He has a power over her."

Now, some will set it down to a low, unmanly jealousy and suspicion;
it is hard to name it, but I know that I was seized with a misery so
deep that all my past sufferings and disappointments, and even this
present horror were shadowy beside it. I pictured to myself Alixe in
Doltaire's arms, after I had gone beyond human call. It is strange