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The History of Thomas Ellwood Written By Himself by Thomas Ellwood
page 29 of 246 (11%)
I read abundantly in the Bible, and would set myself tasks in
reading, enjoining myself to read so many chapters, sometimes a
whole book or long epistle, at a time. And I thought that time well
spent, though I was not much the wiser for what I had read, reading
it too cursorily, and without the true Guide, the Holy Spirit, which
alone could open the understanding and give the true sense of what
was read.

I prayed often, and drew out my prayers to a great length, and
appointed unto myself certain set times to pray at, and a certain
number of prayers to say in a day: we knew not meanwhile what true
prayer was, which stands not in words, though the words which are
uttered in the movings of the Holy Spirit are very available, but in
the breathing of the soul to the heavenly Father through the
operation of the Holy Spirit, who maketh intercession sometimes in
words and sometimes with sighs and groans only, which the Lord
vouchsafes to hear and answer.

This will-worship, which all is that is performed in the will of man
and not in the movings of the Holy Spirit, was a great hurt to me,
and hindrance of my spiritual growth in the way of truth. But my
heavenly Father, who knew the sincerity of my soul to Him and the
hearty desire I had to serve Him, had compassion on me, and in due
time was graciously pleased to illuminate my understanding further,
and to open in me an eye to discern the false spirit, and its way of
working from the true, and to reject the former and cleave to the
latter.

But though the enemy had by his subtlety gained such advantages over
me, yet I went on notwithstanding, and firmly persisted in my godly
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