His honour, the Laird, accused our Landlord, deceased, of having
encouraged, in various times and places, the destruction of hares,
rabbits, fowls black and grey, partridges, moor-pouts, roe-deer, and
other birds and quadrupeds, at unlawful seasons, and contrary to the laws
of this realm, which have secured, in their wisdom, the slaughter of such
animals for the great of the earth, whom I have remarked to take an
uncommon (though to me, an unintelligible) pleasure therein. Now, in
humble deference to his honour, and in justifiable defence of my friend
deceased, I reply to this charge, that howsoever the form of such animals
might appear to be similar to those so protected by the law, yet it was a
mere _deceptio visus_; for what resembled hares were, in fact, hill-kids,
and those partaking of the appearance of moor-fowl, were truly wood
pigeons, and consumed and eaten _eo nomine_, and not otherwise.
Again, the Exciseman pretended, that my deceased Landlord did encourage
that species of manufacture called distillation, without having an
especial permission from the Great, technically called a license, for
doing so. Now, I stand up to confront this falsehood; and in defiance of
him, his gauging-stick, and pen and inkhorn, I tell him, that I never
saw, or tasted, a glass of unlawful aqua vitae in the house of my
Landlord; nay, that, on the contrary, we needed not such devices, in
respect of a pleasing and somewhat seductive liquor, which was vended and
consumed at the Wallace Inn, under the name of mountain dew. If there is
a penalty against manufacturing such a liquor, let him show me the
statute; and when he does, I'll tell him if I will obey it or no.
Concerning those who came to my Landlord for liquor, and went thirsty
away, for lack of present coin, or future credit, I cannot but say it has
grieved my bowels as if the case had been mine own. Nevertheless, my
Landlord considered the necessities of a thirsty soul, and would permit
them, in extreme need, and when their soul was impoverished for lack of
moisture, to drink to the full value of their watches and wearing