being mine, for insolence joined with guilt had robbed me of all
forbearance, he fired first, but missed me: I then demanded whether he
would clear your fame? he called out 'Fire! I will make no terms,'--I
did fire,--and unfortunately aimed better! We had neither of us any
second, all was the result of immediate passion; but I soon got people
to him, and assisted in conveying him home. He was at, first believed
to be dead, and I was seized by his servants; but he afterwards shewed
signs of life, and by sending for my friend Biddulph, I was released.
Such is the melancholy transaction I came to relate to you, flattering
myself it would something less shock you from me than from another: yet
my own real concern for the affair, the repentance with which from the
moment the wretch fell, I was struck in being his destroyer, and the
sorrow, the remorse, rather, which I felt, in coming to wound you with
such black, such fearful intelligence,--you to whom all I owe is peace
and comfort!--these thoughts gave me so much disturbance, that, in
fact, I knew less than any other how to prepare you for such a tale."

He stopt; but Cecilia could say nothing: to censure him now would both
be cruel and vain; yet to pretend she was satisfied with his conduct,
would be doing violence to her judgment and veracity. She saw, too,
that his error had sprung wholly from a generous ardor in her defence,
and that his confidence in her character, had resisted, without
wavering, every attack that menaced it. For this she felt truly
grateful; yet his quarrel with his father,--the danger of his mother,--
his necessary absence,--her own clandestine situation,--and more than
all, the threatened death of Mr Monckton by his hands, were
circumstances so full of dread and sadness, she knew not upon which to
speak,--how to offer him comfort,--how to assume a countenance that
looked able to receive any, or by what means to repress the emotions
which to many ways assailed her. Delvile, having vainly waited some