subsidiary specialties into action; "Tono-Bungay Hair Stimulant" was
our first supplement. Then came "Concentrated Tono-Bungay" for the
eyes. That didn't go, but we had a considerable success with the Hair
Stimulant. We broached the subject, I remember, in a little catechism
beginning: "Why does the hair fall out? Because the follicles are
fagged. What are the follicles?..." So it went on to the climax that
the Hair Stimulant contained all "The essential principles of that most
reviving tonic, Tono-Bungay, together with an emollient and nutritious
oil derived from crude Neat's Foot Oil by a process of refinement,
separation and deodorization.... It will be manifest to any one of
scientific attainments that in Neat's Foot Oil derived from the hoofs
and horns of beasts, we must necessarily have a natural skin and hair
lubricant."

And we also did admirable things with our next subsidiaries,
"Tono-Bungay Lozenges," and "Tono-Bungay Chocolate." These we urged upon
the public for their extraordinary nutritive and recuperative value
in cases of fatigue and strain. We gave them posters and illustrated
advertisements showing climbers hanging from marvelously vertical
cliffs, cyclist champions upon the track, mounted messengers engaged in
Aix-to-Ghent rides, soldiers lying out in action under a hot sun. "You
can GO for twenty-four hours," we declared, "on Tono-Bungay Chocolate."
We didn't say whether you could return on the same commodity. We also
showed a dreadfully barristerish barrister, wig, side-whiskers, teeth,
a horribly life-like portrait of all existing barristers, talking at a
table, and beneath, this legend: "A Four Hours' Speech on Tono-Bungay
Lozenges, and as fresh as when he began." Then brought in regiments
of school-teachers, revivalist ministers, politicians and the like. I
really do believe there was an element of "kick" in the strychnine
in these lozenges, especially in those made according to our earlier