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The Real Dope by Ring Lardner
page 93 of 140 (66%)
so now stand up and take what's comeing to you."

Well Al I thought he was just kidding so I says "I come over here to fight
Germans and not 1 of my own pals." So he says "Don't call me no pal, but
if you come to fight Germans now is your chance because you say I'm 1 of
them."

Well he kind of made a funny motion like he wanted to spar or wrestle or
something and I thought he meant it in a friendly way like we sometimes
pull off a rough house once in a wile so I stood up but before I had a
chance to take holds with him he cut loose at me with his fists doubled up
and I kind of triped or something and fell over a bench and I must have hit
something sharp on the way down and I kind of got scratched up but they are
only scratchs and don't amt. to nothing. Only I wished I knew he had of
been serious and I would of made a punching bag out of him and you can bet
that the next time he wants to start something I won't wait to see if he
is jokeing but I will tear into him and he will think he run into a Minnie
Weffers.

Well I suppose Alcock was sore at me for getting the best of him and not
falling for his gag and he was afraid to tackle me himself and he told big
Shaffer a peck of lies about some dam letter or something and said I stole
it and it made Shaffer sore and no wonder because who wouldn't be sore if
they thought somebody was reading their male. But a man like Shaffer that
if he stopped a shell the Dutchmens would half to move back a ways so as
they would be room enough in France to bury him hasn't got no right to
pick on a smaller man especially when I wasn't feeling good on acct. of
something I eat but at that Al size don't make no difference and its the
bird that's got the nerve and knows how that can knock them dead and if
Shaffer had of gave me any warning he would of been the 1 that is scratched
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