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The Real Dope by Ring Lardner
page 97 of 140 (69%)
they might at lease give us a ride and he says no because when they send
a man to the electric chair they don't push him up there in a go cart but
they make him get there on his own dogs. So I said "Yes but he travels
light and he don't half to go far and when he gets there they's a chair
waiting for him to set down in it but they load us up like a troop ship and
walk us 1/2 way to Sweden and when we finely get here we can either remain
standing or lay down in a mud puddle and tuck ourself in."

And another thing Al I thought they meant we was going right in the front
line trenchs where a man has got a chance to see some fun but where we are
at is what they call the reserve trenchs and we been here 3 days all ready
and have got to stay here 7 days more that is unless they should something
happen to the regt. that's up ahead of us in the front line and if they get
smashed up or something and half to be sent back to the factory then we
will jump right in and take their place and I don't wish them no bad luck
but I wished they would get messed up tonight at lease enough so as they
would half to come out for repairs but it don't look like they was much
chance of that as we are on a quite section where they hasn't been nothing
doing since the war begin you might say but of course Jerry is raising
he--ll all over the front now and here is where he will probably pick on
next and believe me Al we will give him a welcome.

But the way things is mapped out now we will be here another wk. yet and
then up in the front row for 10 days and then back to the rest billets for
a rest but they say the only thing that gets a rest back there is your
stomach but believe me your stomach gets a holiday right here without going
to no rest billets.

Well I thought they would be some excitement up here but its like church
but everybody says just wait till we get up in front and then we will have
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