as I am the only _unmarried_ man at this table, I suppose that that
toast was intended for me."


42. A DILEMMA

"I am no good unless I strike," said the match. "And you lose your head
every time you do strike," said the box.


43. COURAGEOUS GIRL

[The following is a good instance of an elaborate story and a sharp
retort.]

It is not always safe to presume upon the timidity or ignorance of folks.
The most demure may be the most courageous. A gentleman who attempted
to play a practical joke in order to test the courage of a servant, was
nonplused in a very unexpected way. Here is his story:

I am very particular about fastening the doors and windows of my house. I
do not intend to leave them open at night as an invitation to burglars to
enter. You see, I was robbed once in that way last year, and I never mean
to be again; so when I go to bed I like to be sure that every door and
window is securely fastened.

Last winter my wife engaged a big, strong country girl, and the new-comer
was very careless about the doors at night. On two or three occasions I
came down-stairs to find a window up or the back door unlocked. I cautioned
her, but it did her no good. I therefore determined to frighten her. I got