husband of your sister as brother. Erasmus commends it in his opening
chapter, under the head of Salutandi formuloe. And indeed," added my
father, thoughtfully, "there is no great difference between politeness
and affection. My author here observes that it is polite to express
salutation in certain minor distresses of nature. One should salute a
gentleman in yawning, salute him in hiccuping, salute him in sneezing,
salute him in coughing,--and that evidently because of your interest in
his health; for he may dislocate his jaw in yawning, and the hiccup is
often a symptom of grave disorder, and sneezing is perilous to the small
blood-vessels of the head, and coughing is either a tracheal, bronchial,
pulmonary, or ganglionic affection."

"Very true. The Turks always salute in sneezing, and they are a
remarkably polite people," said Uncle Jack. "But, my dear brother, I
was just looking with admiration at these apple-trees of yours. I never
saw finer. I am a great judge of apples. I find, in talking with my
sister, that you make very little profit by them. That's a pity. One
might establish a cider orchard in this county. You can take your own
fields in hand; you can hire more, so as to make the whole, say a
hundred acres. You can plant a very extensive apple-orchard on a grand
scale. I have just run through the calculations; they are quite
startling. Take 40 trees per acre--that's the proper average--at 1s.
6d. per tree; 4,000 trees for 100 acres, L300; labor of digging,
trenching, say L10 an acre,--total for 100 acres, L1,000. Pave the
bottoms of the holes to prevent the tap-root striking down into the bad
soil,--oh! I am very close and careful you see, in all minutiae; always
was,--pave 'em with rubbish and stones, 6d. a hole; that for 4,000
trees the 100 acres is L100. Add the rent of the land, at 30s. an
acre,--L150. And how stands the total?" Here Uncle Jack proceeded
rapidly ticking off the items with his fingers:--