will be scrambling atop of the Monument."

Pisistratus.--"But a cat the most vicarious is limited to nine lives;
and Uncle Jack must be now far gone in his eighth."

Ms. Caxton (not heeding that answer, for he has got his hand in his
waistcoat).--"The earth, according to Apuleius, in his 'Treatise on the
Philosophy of Plato,' was produced from right-angled triangles; but fire
and air from the scalene triangle,--the angles of which, I need not say,
are very different from those of a right-angled triangle. Now I think
there are people in the world of whom one can only judge rightly
according to those mathematical principles applied to their original
construction: for if air or fire predominates in our natures, we are
scalene triangles; if earth, right-angled. Now, as air is so notably
manifested in Jack's conformation, he is, nolens volens, produced in
conformity with his preponderating element. He is a scalene triangle,
and must be judged, accordingly, upon irregular, lop-sided principles;
whereas you and I, common-place mortals, are produced, like the earth,
which is our preponderating element, with our triangles all right-
angled, comfortable and complete,--for which blessing let us thank
Providence, and be charitable to those who are necessarily windy and
gaseous, from that unlucky scalene triangle upon which they have had the
misfortune to be constructed, and which, you perceive, is quite at
variance with the mathematical constitution of the earth!"

Pisistratus.--"Sir, I am very happy to hear so simple, easy, and
intelligible an explanation of Uncle Jack's peculiarities; and I only
hope that, for the future, the sides of his scalene triangle may never
be produced to our rectangular conformations."