Married by August Strindberg
page 279 of 337 (82%)
page 279 of 337 (82%)
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She soon learned how far she could go, and whenever he became restive,
she yielded. He was seized with a fanatical longing to make her a mother. He thought it might make a woman of her, bring out all that was good and wholesome in her. But the future seemed to hold no promise on that score. Had ambition, the selfish passion of the individual, destroyed the source of life? He wondered.... One morning she informed him that she was going away for a few days to stay with her friends. When he came home on the evening of the day of her departure and found the house empty, his soul was tormented by a cruel feeling of loss and longing. All of a sudden it became clear to him that he loved her with every fibre of his being. The house seemed desolate; it was just as if a funeral had taken place. When dinner was served he stared at her vacant chair and hardly touched his food. After supper he lit the chandelier in the drawing-room. He sat down in her corner of the sofa. He fingered her needlework which she had left behind--it was a tiny jacket for a stranger's baby in a newly-founded creche. There was the needle, still sticking in the calico, just as she had left it. He pricked his finger with it as if to find solace in the ecstasy of pain. Presently he lighted a candle and went into her bedroom. As he stood on the threshold, he shaded the flame with his hand and looked round |
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