lacked the voluntary and cheerful self-humiliation which is an element
of real love. I certainly wished with all my heart to fascinate her; but
what I more particularly wanted was to hold my own, to avoid submission,
and retain my independence. My boyish pride demanded it.

The young foreigner, whose knowledge of the world was hardly greater
than my own, had certainly never, during her short life, come in contact
with so extraordinary a phenomenon; it afforded matter for reflection.
She certainly felt attracted, but, woman-like, was on her guard. She was
of a quiet, amiable disposition, innocently coquettish, naturally
adapted for the advances of sound common sense and affectionate good-
will, not for the volts of passion; she was, moreover, femininely
practical.

She saw at a glance that this grown-up schoolboy, who almost staggered
her with his eloquence, his knowledge, his wild plans for the future,
was no wooer, and that his advances were not to be taken too seriously.
Next, with a woman's unfailing intuition, she discovered his empty love
of power. And first involuntarily, and then consciously, she placed
herself in an attitude of defence. She did not lack intelligence. She
showed a keen interest in me, but met me with the self-control of a
little woman of the world, now and then with coolness, on one occasion
with well-aimed shafts of mockery.

Our mutual attitude might have developed into a regular war between the
sexes, had we not both been half-children. Just as I, in the midst of a
carefully planned assault on her emotions, occasionally forgot myself
altogether and betrayed the craving to be near her which drove me almost
every day to her door, she also would at times lose the equilibrium she
had struggled for, and feverishly reveal her agitated state of mind. But