The Ghost of Guir House by Charles Willing Beale
page 127 of 140 (90%)
page 127 of 140 (90%)
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"Another question--more vital than any I have yet asked, because it concerns my own well-being and happiness," continued Paul; "how is it possible that Dorothy can live in a place like this with a being who is only semi-material? "Because her nature is double, as is mine," answered the old man. "Dorothy, like her sisters and mother, passed out of this life more than a hundred and fifty years ago." "And did the same causes operate to bring her back to earth?" Ah Ben became more serious than ever as he answered: "You have touched upon the sorest point of all, and one which requires further elucidation. Sudden and unnatural death has a retarding tendency upon the spirit's progress; but where one has caused his own destruction, the evil resulting is incalculable. I was a suicide; and ten thousand times over had I better have borne all the ills that earth could heap upon me, than have stooped to such folly. For in what has it resulted? A prolonged mental agony, such as you can never conceive; for I have no home in heaven nor earth, but am forced to wander amid the shadows of each world, unrecognized by those either above or below me. Here I am shunned upon every hand, and, as you saw for yourself, I was equally avoided in Levachan. But that is not all; in the ignorance and selfishness of my grief, I yearned for my lost ones with a solicitude, a consuming fierceness and power of will which insanity only can equal. By nature I was intense; and even had I not committed the fatal act, my vitality would have burned itself away with the awful concentration of feeling. But it must be remembered that I was not the only sufferer from this pitiful lack of self-control. The stronger desires and emotions of |
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