so much to enjoy such a rational, desirable, delightful occupation,
should have been led away, should have been betrayed into the guilt of
dissipation?" Ah, my friends! how easy is it, in looking back upon past
events, upon lost time, how easy is it for us to say, and what a common
expression it is, in the mouth of almost every reflecting person, "_If
my time were to come over again, how very differently would I act!_" But
this sort of reasoning is very fallacious, it is unworthy a philosopher.
When a person reflects upon particular events of his life, where his
objects had failed for want of foresight, or for want of prudence, it
may be excusable in him to express a wish, nay, it is almost impossible
for any one to suppress an inward wish, that he had acted with more
caution, discretion or prudence; but even a hankering wish of this sort
is a weakness, although it may be an amiable and an excusable weakness.
To wish at all for an impossibility, such as the recalling of time that
is irretrievably gone by, must be a weakness. But, even if we could
recall it, to assert that [--illegible--] is in perfect paradise
compared with these."

The reader will be careful to recollect, that I am not endeavoring to
screen those sins that I know I have committed. As I feel that they will
come under the denomination of _venial_, and not deadly sins, I shall
not shrink from the task which I have imposed upon myself, of recording
them as often as they occur at the different periods of my history. I am
not insensible of my errors, faults, or frailties; I know that we are
all poor frail mortals; but, as my poor father said upon his death bed,
"I have not the least shadow of doubt upon my mind, that a wise, just,
and beneficent Creator and Father of all, will pardon my errors." With
the same sort of hope, and with a similar impression upon my mind,
I pass my numerous hours of solitude here in the most delightful
reflections. Calm, composed and perfectly free from the slightest