the London Plots._

"London, 13th Dec. 1816.

"Sir--The summer before last, when you came over to Botley and found
me transplanting Swedish turnips amidst dust, and under a sun which
scorched the leaves till they resembled fried parsley, you remember how
I was fretting and stewing; how many times in an hour I was looking out
for a south-western cloud; how I watched the mercury in the glass, and
rapped the glass with my knuckles to try to move it in my favour. But
great as my anxiety then was, and ludicrous as were my movements, ten
thousand times greater has been that of Corruption's Press for the
coming of a PLOT, and ten thousand times more ludicrous its movements in
order to hasten the accomplish ment of its wishes! You remember how my
wife laughed at me, when, in the evening, some boys having thrown a
handful or two of sand over the wall, that made a sort of dropping on
the leaves of the laurels, I took it for the beginning of a _shower_,
and pulled off my hat and held up my hand to see whether more was not
coming, though there was nothing to be seen in the sky but the stars
shining as bright as silver. Just such has been the conduct of
Corruption's sons upon hearing of the _discovery_ of Mr. Watson's and
Mr. Preston's _papers_.' They sigh for a PLOT. Oh, how they sigh! They
are working and slaving and fretting and stewing; they are sweating all
over; they are absolutely pining and dying for a Plot!

"In these their wishes it is hard to say which character is most
prominent, the _fool_ or the _knave;_ for, if by any means, they were
to make out the real existence of a Plot for the destruction of the
Government, would such proof tend to the _credit_ of that Government
in the eyes of the world at large, or in those of the people of this