it upright against the bulkhead of his cabin, behind his chair, where he
sat at dinner. The gift suited him at this time. It is said that he
was disappointed in the step-son whom he had loved so dearly from his
childhood, and who had saved his life at Teneriffe; and it is certain
that he had now formed an infatuated attachment for Lady Hamilton, which
totally weaned his affections from his wife. Farther than this, there is
no reason to believe that this most unfortunate attachment was criminal;
but this was criminality enough, and it brought with it its punishment.
Nelson was dissatisfied with himself, and therefore weary of the world.
This feeling he now frequently expressed. "There is no true happiness
in this life," said he, "and in my present state I could quit it with a
smile." And in a letter to his old friend Davison he said, "Believe me,
my only wish is to sink with honour into the grave; and when that shall
please God, I shall meet death with a smile. Not that I am insensible to
the honours and riches my king and country have heaped upon me--so much
more than any officer could deserve; yet am I ready to quit this world
of trouble, and envy none but those of the estate six feet by two."

Well had it been for Nelson if he had made no other sacrifices to this
unhappy attachment than his peace of mind; but it led to the only
blot upon his public character. While he sailed from Palermo, with
the intention of collecting his whole force, and keeping off Maretimo,
either to receive reinforcements there if the French were bound upwards,
or to hasten to Minorca if that should be their destination, Captain
Foote, in the Sea-horse, with the Neapolitan frigates, and some small
vessels, under his command, was left to act with a land force consisting
of a few regular troops, of four different nations, and with the armed
rabble which Cardinal Ruffo called the Christian army. His directions
were to co-operate to the utmost of his power with the royalists, at
whose head Ruffo had been placed, and he had no other instructions