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Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 12, June 18, 1870 by Various
page 34 of 69 (49%)
gentleman allows us to hear from him almost daily. To be sure he is like
some great antediluvian grasshopper, and seems capable of spanning this
almost boundless continent at a leap. He is in Maine in the morning--he
is making a speech in Minnesota when the evening shades prevail; but
wherever he is, the roll of his eloquence reaches us, and however busy
he may be, he is never too busy to write letters to tho newspapers. The
great man comes very near to solving the problem heretofore considered
insoluble, of being in two places at once. Two, did we say? Absurd!
Three, four, five, half a dozen! What a man! Jumping here! Leaping
there! Skipping North! Vaulting South! Skimming (like a CAMILLA in
pantaloons) over the plains of the West! Then, as if by magic, whirling
himself to the East! A man, did we say? Bah! GEORGE FRANCIS is clearly
one of the immortals.

Clearly! JUPITER used to be rather lavish of electricity, but he did but
a small retail business in it, compared with our dear GEORGE FRANCIS,
the demi-god, who, when he is not talking with sublime garrulity, is
telegraphing without regard to expense. Evidently it has dawned upon the
mind (if he has any,) of this extraordinary being, that the world, in
none of its quarters, can get along without him, and that the newspaper
which does not mention his name must be stale, flat, and unprofitable.
Wherefore he takes order that every newspaper shall print the wonderful
name as often as possible. Whether he be laughed at, sneered at, sworn
at, the virtue of the mere mention remains the same.

The last we heard from GEORGE FRANCIS, he was, (to use his own choice
language,) "away up here on the Chippewa," beseeching the lumber men,
with all the charm of his inimitable eloquence, to vote him into the
Presidential chair. "I am waking up these boys for 1872," writes the
valuable phenomenon. Unto "millers, rafters, choppers, and jammers,"
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