He wuz about the silliest cuss I ever seen.
Wall, I noticed a feller a rummagin' 'round
among the benches as though he might
a-lost somethin'. So I sed to him, "Mister,
did you lose anythin' 'round here any place?"
He sed, "Yes, sir, I lost a ten dollar bill; if
you find it I'll give you two dollars." Wall,
I jist made up my mind he wuz one of them
cirkus sharpers, and when he wan't a-lookin'
I pulled a ten dollar bill out of my pockit
and give it to him; and the durned fool
didn't know but what it wuz the same one
that he lost. Gosh, I jist fooled him out of
his two dollars slicker 'n a whistle. I tell
you cirkus day is a great time in Punkin
Centre.



Uncle Josh Invites the City Folks to Visit Him

I DIDN'T s'pose when I wuz gittin' ready to
go home, that all you folks would be down
here to the depo' to see me off. Wall, now,
that's purty good of ye, I'll be durned it it
ain't. Yes, I guess I'll have to be goin' home now;
I've stayed here this time 'bout as long as I
kin afford to. I must say, some of you folks