The Deacon sed, "No, Henry, it wasn't
Commodore Dewey what slew the Philistines,
it wuz Sampson." Another little feller
sed, "No, Deacon, I think you've sort of
got it mixed up; he wasn't there; Schley is
the feller what done the job, at Santiague."
The Deacon sed, "Now, boys, you've bin
readin' too much about them war doin's in
the papers. Now what little boy can tell
me what is the first commandment?" And
Ezra Hoskins' boy sed, "Remember the
main." Gosh, I had to go right out of the
meetin' house, whar I could have a good
laugh. Wall, I wouldn't have bin down
thar in the fust place, or the second place,
fer that matter, if it hadn't bin fer old Jim
Lawson. You see, Jim he's a peculiar old
critter. He's got one eye out; lost it lookin'
fer a pension, I believe. Wall, Jim he cum
over to my house and he sed, "Josh, let's
you and me go down to the baptizin'." I
sed, "What do you want to go down thar
fer, Jim; you can't git any pension thar, kin
ye?" Jim sed, "Wall, you see, Josh, thar
wuz a pedler left some hymn books at my
house, and I want to go down thar and see
if I can't sell 'em." Wall, we hadn't bin
thar more 'n a minnit when Jim he told the
minister he had the hymn books to sell, and
the minister sed he'd tell the congregation