Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine — Volume 53, No. 327, January, 1843 by Various
page 89 of 348 (25%)
page 89 of 348 (25%)
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invited by my benefactor, when I implored him to release me from the
obligation in which I had too hastily involved myself. "Be seated, Caleb," said Mr Clayton, as we entered the room in company. "Be seated, and be tranquil. You are excited now." I was, in truth, and not more so than deeply mortified and humbled. "You alarm me, dear young friend," continued the good minister. "You alarm and grieve me. I tremble for you, when I behold your versatility. Tell me, how is this? Can you not trust yourself? Can I trust you?" I did not answer. "I have been careful in not thwarting your own good purposes. I have been most anxious to give your feelings their full bent. Has your conversion been too sudden to endure? Have you so soon regretted the abandonment of the great world and all its pleasures--such as they were to you? Has a life of usefulness and peace no charms? Alas! I had hoped otherwise." I assured my friend that he had mistaken the motive which had compelled me to forsake, at least for the present, the intention that I had entertained honestly--though, I felt, erroneously--for the last few days. Nothing was further from my thoughts than a desire to mix again in a world of sinfulness and trouble. His precepts and bright example had won me from it; and I prayed only to be established in the principles, in the true knowledge of which I knew my happiness to consist. I was not equal to the task which I had proposed to myself, and he had kindly permitted me to assume. I wished to be his meanest disciple--to acquire |
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