Only NOAH'S Ark would really meet the case.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _First Tommy_. "WHAT ARE YE GOING TO DO WITH IT?"

_Second Tommy (with tiny prisoner)._ "FIX IT ON THE BONNET OF THE
GENERAL'S MOTOR-CAR."]

* * * * *

MATILDA

_(From our Adjutant's Diary)._

The depôt has decided that Matilda is a notable puppy. I could not tell
you her particular make, but our motor cyclist artificer described her
as a "1917 model; well upholstered but weak in the chassis and
unreliable in the differential on hairpin bends; in fact, built for
comfort and not speed."

Matilda became a celebrity all in one day. The C.O. wrote the following
chit to her master:--

"O.C.-'A' Company.--If your dog _must_ stroll into my orderly-room, will
you please see that she is kept reasonably clean? Please take necessary
action, initial and return."

Matilda was bathed and sent back for inspection to the C.O., with a chit
from O.C. "A" Company, pointing out that, as he couldn't initial her, he