"Dogs," says the Acton magistrate, "are not allowed to bite people
they dislike." All the same there have been times when we have felt
that it would have been an act of supererogation to explain to the
postman that our dog was really attached to him.

***

A taxi-cab driver has been fined two pounds for using abusive
language to a policeman. Only his explanation, that he thought he was
addressing a fare, saved him from a heavier penalty.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Doctor_. "YOUR THROAT IS IN A VERY BAD STATE. HAVE
YOU EVER TRIED GARGLING WITH SALT WATER?"

_Skipper_. "YUS, I'VE BEEN TORPEDOED SIX TIMES."]

* * * * *

A WAR BARGAIN.

"BRIGHTON.--A small General for Sale through old age. No
reasonable offer refused."--_West Sussex Gazette_.

* * * * *

"An enormous burden of detail is thus taken off the shareholders
of the Munitions Minister."--_Liverpool Daily Post_.