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The Best American Humorous Short Stories by Unknown
page 93 of 393 (23%)
profited by the education we are giving them. It is not our way,
ma'am, to waste our money in parties and fooleries, and fine furniture
and fine clothes, and rich food, and all such abominations. Our first
duty is to our children, and to make them learn everything that is
taught in the schools. If they go wrong, it will not be for want of
education. Hester, my dear, come and talk to Miss Morland in French."

Hester (unlike her little brother that would not speak a speech)
stepped boldly forward, and addressed Caroline Morland with:
"_Parlez-vous Français, mademoiselle? Comment se va madame votre mère?
Aimez-vous la musique? Aimez-vous la danse? Bon jour--bon soir--bon
repos. Comprenez-vous?_"

To this tirade, uttered with great volubility, Miss Morland made no
other reply than, "_Oui--je comprens._"

"Very well, Hester--very well indeed," said Mrs. Watkinson. "You see,
ma'am," turning to Mrs. Morland, "how very fluent she is in French;
and she has only been learning eleven quarters."

After considerable whispering between Jane and her mother, the former
withdrew, and sent in by the Irish girl a waiter with a basket of soda
biscuit, a pitcher of water, and some glasses. Mrs. Watkinson invited
her guests to consider themselves at home and help themselves freely,
saying: "We never let cakes, sweetmeats, confectionery, or any such
things enter the house, as they would be very unwholesome for the
children, and it would be sinful to put temptation in their way. I am
sure, ma'am, you will agree with me that the plainest food is the best
for everybody. People that want nice things may go to parties for
them; but they will never get any with me."
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