[Illustration: DIGNITY IN DISTRESS.

_Small Boys_ (_to Volunteer Major in temporary command_). "I SAY,
GUV'NOR--HI! JUST WIPE THE BLOOD OFF THAT 'ERE SWORD!!"]

* * * * *

MIGHT BE BETTER!

Small game and scant! The Season's show
Of Birds, in bunches big, adjacent,
Will hardly take JOHN's eye, although
The Poulterer appears complacent,
Seeing, good easy man, quite clearly
That rival shops show yet more queerly.

It can't be said the Birds look young,
Or plump of breast, or fine of feather.
A skinnier lot than SOL has hung
Ne'er skimmed the moor or thronged the heather;
But for dull plumage, shrivelled crop,
Look at the Opposition shop!

Amongst the blind the one-eyed king
Is, not unnaturally, bumptious.
That Poulterer with a swaggering swing
Strides to his door, the stock looks "scrumptious"
In _his_ eyes; but thrasonic diction
To BULL will hardly bring conviction.