ADDRESSES


In a large store a child, pointing to a shopper exclaimed, "Oh, mother,
that lady lives the same place we do. I just heard her say, 'Send it up
C.O.D.' Isn't that where we live?"


An Englishman went into his local library and asked for Frederic
Harrison's _George Washington and other American Addresses_. In a little
while he brought back the book to the librarian and said:

"This book does not give me what I require; I want to find out the
addresses of several American magnates; I know where George Washington
has gone to, for he never told a lie."




ADVERTISING


Not long ago a patron of a café in Chicago summoned his waiter and
delivered himself as follows:

"I want to know the meaning of this. Look at this piece of beef. See its
size. Last evening I was served with a portion more than twice the size
of this."