seized the waiter, tied a rope around his neck, and at a signal from the
injured lady swung him into the air."

"Horrible!" said the hostess with a shudder. "And did you actually see
this yourself?"

"Well, no," admitted Field apologetically. "Just at that moment I
happened to be downstairs killing the chef for putting mustard in the
blanc mange."


You can always tell the English,
You can always tell the Dutch,
You can always tell the Yankees--
But you can't tell them _much!_




AMUSEMENTS


A newspaper thus defined amusements:

The Friends' picnic this year was not as well attended as it has been
for some years. This can be laid to three causes, viz.: the change of
place in holding it, deaths in families, and other amusements.


I wish that my room had a floor;